I never got to hold you in my arms
Never got to read you a bedtime story
God took you back
before your life could start
If asked if I loved you
Sweetie, you'd better believe it
when I first found out
I will not lie
I was terrified
I wasn't sure if I had what it'd take
To help you grow and learn
When I first felt you kick
I was so proud of you
When I knew something was wrong
I went to seek help
But it was too late.
There was nothing I could do
God, called you back to him.
It just wasn't your time.
Please don't ever doubt
My love for you though,
For you my unborn child,
Were extremely loved.














Comments
.....This is so much more incredibly strong than before. Now the rhymes don't take away from your point, and I almost want to cry reading it.
I think it is perfect right now. If you want to work on it some more so as to simply turn it into a stronger poem let me know, but just know that it is very strong. You did a fantastic job just putting it all out there and grabbing the reader by the throat! I feel your pain!
Like I said...I don't know where you are when it comes to healing from this experience (and the experience is quite clear with your rewrite) but if you are ready to work on it even more, just say the word. The only thing it might need are a few subtle things (which don't come to me initially because you did such a good job of pulling me in). Just...let me know.
Bravo!
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I don't mean to offend you; I can't help having opinions AND a big mouth.
I like long walks on the beach; carcasses of dead marine life fascinate me.
Thank you so much again.
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