Even though my birthday is Officially April 30th every year at this time I think back over the years. I think about the loneliness the obstacles I overcame the facts i survived another year. I guess you can say, I had one of those "Unfortunate but fortunate lives." This year I'm happy its my birthday but scared. Its the year I become 21. For years I had planned to go out and have a Drunk 21st with my friends. Well, my friends aren't in my life as much as they used to be, money isn't the greatest now and I'm pregnant. So how can this be the greatest birthday ever? its because I finally found the love of my life. This is the first year I actually have someone in my life. Someone who loves me for who I am not for what I do get. A girl whom I love so much I can barely stand the distance between us because I want to be with her. Never in my life had I needed someone there. Now, I do and its the most strangest feeling needing someone other than myself but its the MOST Wonderful. I'm so happy its not even funny.
To be honest my life used to be just heartache and being alone. I've been beaten and hurt. That I thought I was ugly. Then eight years ago, Life hurt me once again. I got jumped and beaten Badly. The girl whom did it destroyed my right hip but worse a career that would of sent me out to Alberta. After being forced onto bed rest and told I'd never have the strength to ride again, I fell hard. Who would want me when I didn't even have the strength to walk across a room? Well, like they say, Life goes on. In eight years I forced myself to walk without a cane, got myself back into the saddle of my horse and have even started to run again. BUT it was never the same. I still will never be strong enough to compete in a Horse competition or a marathon. I am supposed to use a cane. before my fiancee came into my life, I still wondered who'd want me? i had the odd person come but it was the same thing over and over. Telling me, I couldn't be such a "Guy" or that I should give up and accept that my leg will never heal. I'd tell them no and fight would erupt and they'd end the relationship. I learned to survive on my own after my first pregnancy, I prepared myself with the strength of an army. I got kicked out of school cuz I refused to put the child up for adoption, I had a job and was prepared to do whatever it took, I had a stillborn and fell down. This time i didn't think I'd survive. Tears fell and my boss just held me that day. her daughter had my shoulders neither woman had shown much emotion at work as that day. When I stood there my head on my boss' shoulder. For weeks after I laid in bed at night tears soaking my pillow. I finally got up and realized I couldn't change it and everything happens for a reason. I bit the bullet and went on with my life. That was last spring. I still have the hurt there but learned once again to hold a high head and be proud of myself.
So this year is quite a happy birthday. I am still telling people its just another day but under those words its the greatest birthday ever, it actually is a new start of a Chapter in my life and I'm Pretty sure this one will have a happy ending